He dresses professionally. Why should women do all the work no they shouldnt it should be a mutual thing. He takes everything personally like if I do something incorrectly or answer him the incorrect way or something he immediately snaps, f-bomb dropping included. He dismisses your emotions. And he certainly isnt going to change without a real reason, e.g., losing someone he cares about. We have been talking for almost a month. This yr it was Quarantine and so he always wanted to have his own anime character and I made it after puting so much efforts. COMPROMISE but just be sure its not all on your side. Im in a similar situation. Anyway I would talk about these things with him and he would make progress, but then get right back to the same place shortly after. I am literally in the exact same position. It took him 2 days to notice something. For example, do you expect your boyfriend to text you five times a day or call you first thing in the morning and last thing before you fall asleep? He also doesnt seem as interested in what I have to say anymore. He has been going through a lot, with an unsupportive family, a broken ankle, financial troubles, depressionbut I have been steady and I have been supportiveI have loved him so well. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? This sucks. When he was drinking, he was attentive, affectionate, and fun. You deserve to be told that you are beautiful, you deserve to be shown concern, you deserve respect. I feel weirdly trapped because I cant really break up with him given there isnt an actual relationship there, but Im in this loop where if I dont respond to HIM like an attentive girlfriend, he expresses this anxiety that gets my attachment system triggered. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. Recently life has been on the up and positive but I feel our relationship hasnt grown or been a focus. Girl what? Are you still in your relationship? I mean, the love we have for them would still be there. But he still makes no effort in even recognizing relationship milestones like anniversaries, but he has done romantic things for the girl he chased for 6 years. Stay fabulous sis!? He felt his place was his and he wanted to keep his place sacred and clean! Normally he kept our video call within 15 minutes, and he will keep quiet for a week after the call, but last one was lasted over half an hour and he went into silent for a few weeks after that. And dont get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with him regardless, it just got really boring and frustrating after half a year. Insulting me, asking me if I wrote in my little journal for today that my goal is to stop asking him for stuff?? I am depressed as well and yet my partner is on top of my prioroty list. Thank you for being here, and for being so honest about your relationship difficulties! Ive always looked for someone else to fill that void for me. You arent asking for too much. He said he loved me but that he was not happy with me and that it has been a long time since he began feeling this way. He spoiled her before they had kids then stopped completely as the kids needed his resources. The first time I actually felt MORE irritated. My ex-best friend snitched to my mom and told her everything about my bf and got some info from close friends about me meeting him secretly so my mom gradually started finding stuff out. I was dipping into my bucket to bring him up but I wasnt getting anything in return. Thats the way to get a I dont care, because Im awesome kind of attitude. 1. Yet there it is, still on since god knows when he took her out. I can sorta relate to you, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but our relationship took off really quickly, and he seemed like the perfect boyfriend for the first month, but after that, its seemed like Ive gradually lost his respect. After a few nights of him treating me bad, he noticed that I was about to leave him so stopped drinking when we would go out because he didnt want to be aggressive with me anymore. How did I give him permission? I have felt hurt and abandoned, left out, unwanted, ever since he started his masters two years ago and threatened by his preference for them over me. His mom, so sweet and caring, once scolded me because I refused to go on a trip with him. He said he did. On a scale of 1 to 10, would you rate your relationship a 1 (you started dating within the last couple of months and are still in the beginning phases of getting to know each other) or a 10 (youve been dating for 20 years and know each other inside and out)? I had stated in the beginning of the relationship I wanted marriage. Like, Ive planned 90% of our dates. (this actually backfired) and caused huge tension and we nearly broke up several times, but when i tried to give him more space to understand his situation, my worst fears came true because we started talking less and less. I feel very angry that his being occupied with school took him away from me and suffocated what little was left of an already struggling relationship. FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. You can spend a lifetime figuring out a persons situation and analyze things, but at the end of the day, actions are louder than words, and if a man/women REALLY wants to be with you, they will move mountains. Then later said someone was making it. I tell him how much it hurts when he says certain things and that there is ZERO excuse for intentionally hurting someone we love. He has free accommodation, food, gas, sexy times, meals cooked, washing done etc. He also is financially stressed and gets seasonal sadness (its winter here in Wisconsin) and I try my hardest to support his needs with it all but it drains me always having to take care of him while I get nothing in return except more expectations. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. Now I am sitting alone in my room crying and reading online articles about how to feel better about myself. At this point we fight so much and afterwards Im always the one to try to settle things because he just cant comprehend what he said really hurts. But nope as well. His daughter really likes me. Should I just leave and find someone that can give me those things? You dont want to overreact, but its hard when your boyfriend stops making an effort. I love him very much, he often talks about our future, kids and stuff but he isnt willing to do any sacrifices for the relationship. Wow!Same here. So, literally, he gives me a quick peck before he goes to work and at least TELLS me he loves me. I dont know if Im being dramatic but its just hard sometimes when you feel like you love someone more than they love you. Here we are stuck in the same pattern, he is hot and heavy in our relationship one month, then goes cold out of nowhere. Hes him. through text, he claims to love me and all that, but in person, i feel like he does the bare minimum. Its less taxing on my emotional self to stay lonely. So i moved out and got my own place and we continued dating. You will end up hating yourself. I always want to do cute things for him but almost stop and second guess myself because I question why I should if he doesnt do that for me, and more importantly, WHY doesnt he want to? I think I should take a relationship break but dont want to lose him. We were living together but decided to try living apart since we jumped into the relationship. Im really worried because from October were doing it long distance and Im dreading that if Im not the one to go see him, were not gonna see each other for half a year. Dont forget, you deserve affection, effort, and communication. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. June 2019 meet my boyfriend, July 2020 get fire from a 2 year job, November 2020 get fired from 3 month job and currently still unemployed. And then the other half of me cant help but feel like perhaps he just doesnt want to go on a date with me at all and thats why he never made an effort. So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. He told me about his situation and how his mother is a single mom and he has to take care of his younger siblings. He texts me every morning and night and we often text during the day. The same month, I started my PhD program but I still made the time to see him. I do not want to give up on relationship, But seems to be STAGNANT right now. I have been dealing with a lot lately. He wanted to hang out everyday which at first I though was strange but I started to so after while it was weird for both of us to not be around each other every day. Within the past 2 years. The only time hes gotten me flowers was when I left him one time. but yeah I rlly love this guy and our relationship is dying. Part of me struggles with feeling like this relationship is way way past it expiration date and needs to be taken out back and put out of its misery but at the same time and I just struggling with what is a natural and normal transition into a long-term relationship? I have asked him on several occasions to make more of an effort but it ends up in an argument. I set the bar really, really low. When Your Husband Still Works With His Ex Affair Partner. I just badly like him and want to care of him. This guy never learned to be a good partner, and it sounds like he doesnt know how to try now, either. As he knows that everyone has me do everything for everyone. Im so confused by the things he thinks, says and does. I dont think he will change. Should I quit or continue with the relationship? I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. MY BOYFRIEND AN I HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER AND WE BOTH WORK. I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. hes sick and theres no cure. Hes always been so affectionate towards me, always wanted us to be happy so we got together. Were both in high school now. The problem is, everyone around me has boyfriends that are going the extra mile to make sure their girlfriends feel loved at this time. Do not sound attacking or desperate. But he want to intimate with me. That way, I can assure two things. I know that may seem shallow of me to care about social media that much, but its only because he posts every aspect of his life online and theres never anything about me? He was pursuing and attentive at first, expressed that he wanted a committed monogamous relationship, and did little things like bringing me gifts, making sure I had water at night when I stayed over, giving me a sweatshirt of his to wear in the morning, just little attentive kind things. I completely understand that, but I dont hear him ever compliment me or anything that I do. I am doing all the work for us. It's easy for people to say, "It's (He still didnt) I asked him to please text me if he was going to be late and he got upset with me. Maybe I just need to not be so dependent and work on myself. second: (and here is the big thing!) Lately, it feels like we fight all the time. Theres also a clear risk that hell, again, show you exactly how much he cares about you by not fighting for you. Nor was him working full time and on his masters degree for 18 months. Youre worth someone who is your equal. But then he keeps telling me he loves me, he cares for me, Im matter and important to him. Some of your traits are similar to mine and some are similar to someone that I was dating at the time. This is my first affair and his 2nd. I did confront him regarding that and he said he still feels the same.But his recent actions have been bugging me and I cant help but feel like hes ignoring me on purpose,like hes tired of me. hes never romantic, never takes me anywhere spontaneously it just goes on. Create your own personal world girl. I used to be patient but recently Ive been having anger issues and he knows how to handle my mood accordingly. Im still dissatisfied I guess. So we decided to give it a try. He has never been one to open up about problems he has with himself or our relationship. Back in June, I suggested we could likely see each other given both of us are very much on quarantine and not going out or seeing anyone else. I really love this article. Hey so Ive been in a relationship for about 2 years now. i feel lonely in my relationship because it is very one sided. He may not be the person for you. Idk what to do I dont want to lose him but i cant tell if he loves me or not he says he rlly does but doesnt act like it. He didnt court me. I didnt see him so I thought maybe he didnt want to show up. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. What Im gonna do? Now we seem so disconnected. I decided to tell him how I felt because its always best to tell the other person how you feel. The main problem in our relationship is one: I go out of my way for him all the time and apparently that is ok. but when you asked him he keep saying i dont hate you i hate your attitude sometimes. I make sure I put into the relationship as much as I get. Find a low-key, nonthreatening way to approach him. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. So, I believe I know him very well. Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. I love him so much but I cant help but question if his effort is a reflection of his interest. he is the most amazing boyfriend i have ever had or so it was a little while ago. He Is Nervous. I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 months now. I love my girlfriend but I never know what to say to her. Me and him were in that I rlly like you stage lol. I made it to the driveway before I felt so uncomfortable I ran inside to put on jeans and a tee shirt. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. Not just that, sexually as well. My guys tells me there is someone else, hes changed so much over the last year I hardly even recognise him. he would nvr go out of his way to do anything for me now and it makes me wonder why because what am i lacking? The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. He then told me it was the appropriate setting to tell me I was super cute. Hes never really posted pictures of us on social media and hes been very non intimate. In the past few months that has changed and hes gotten better. I wasnt allowed to talk to my bf but i did anyways like every night but i couldnt talk on zoom or ppl would hear me. I am right there with you and share very similar feelings. When I started dating him I was very strong in my religion. You have the power to change someone very important in your life. Its been since then that the dating pattern of our relationship has declined significantly. Its like you are not even there. He hasnt asked me out or made an effort to spend anytime with me for 4 weekends in a row. That same night, we agreed to date. I relate so much with this comment its exhausting. his excuse of not having quality time? I said fine. He doesnt ask about my life and hes still working with his ex wife in a business relationship. Everything has started crumbling over the last few months. Thats Progress! I think this self reflection is important to ensure I dont repeat this again. When i and my parents call him to come home(as our culture) he dont bother about him.. That was another thing to disappoint me more. Forgive me for my writing as it is 1 am. Of course you want him to make an effort to wine and dine I keep trying to tell myself this is just a bad patch until I finish school and get a full-time job again- now that hes finally got a new job and should be happy. He said he loved me pretty much from the beginning, but never made an effort to see me or make plans unless I suggested it. Communication is not good. He commented on Tues night wed do it the next night so I was completely excited and ready to go at then finally at bedtime he laid there with his eyes closed and when I put the moves on him he told me its time for sleep, that we are just cuddling. Never any action. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. He brought me back the same time as last time. He doesnt check up on me to see if Im okay or if I get home okay, and it just hurts me that he never wants to spend time with me when were out drinking with our friends? You need to rest your hopes, dreams and future on a love that never fails, a river that never runs dry. I was like OK and we moved on with our usual routine. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. First off I pulled back without warning. He has never introduced me to his father. First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you wont help. I want to tell him that having me over for take out and to spend the night is not enough. Ive asked him to work on this and as the article says, he says he will and he does..for about a half a day. Any effort I make gets unnoticed and it is never enough. Would you be better off without him? is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. This makes me Am I the problem here? I am not allowed upstairs in their house either, it just makes me feel uncomfortable if I go to his. A Relationship Expert Explains, How to Recognize Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Your Spouse, Chemistry Between People Depends on These 7 Traits, Signs and Causes of Emotional Neglect in a Marriage and How to Cope, 8 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner, 16 Signs of Falling in Love That Mean It's Real, How to Stop Being Needy in a Relationship, How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, 10 Signs of an Emotionally-Abusive Relationship, How to Ask for a Father's Permission to Marry His Daughter. To her with him they had kids then stopped completely as the kids his... 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